self sabotage

Hecateh · Foundation Stone Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 2006

I identify so much with this article it made me very uncomfortable. the suggestions of what to do to move on are just the things I avoid - because I am scared of raising people's expectations

What does anyone else think?

http://www.psychologies.co.uk/Sel...otivation/Why-do-we-self-sabotage

_________________
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”
- Ziggy
Made my 1000 miles walking in 8 months rather than the year of my target. Woo Hoo.

Nannyp · Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:59 am Post subject:

Helen, your link doesn't seem to take me to an article about Self Sabotage?

Hecateh · Foundation Stone Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 2006

Mmmh - It did before but it doesn't for me either now

Try this one

http://www.psychologies.co.uk/Sel...otivation/Why-do-we-self-sabotage
_________________
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”
- Ziggy
Made my 1000 miles walking in 8 months rather than the year of my target. Woo Hoo.

Nannyp · Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:42 pm Post subject:

I learnt about this in TA...we sabotage to make things fit our script.

Early on in our life we decide how our life script should be, and moving away from this is very difficult. We live in our comfort zone, move out and we feel uncomfortable and somehow unconsciously find our way back.

An example that has made me sad this week.

Tomas works very hard to keep up his supply of negative strokes. His life script is already decided, he expects to get into trouble, and manages to frequently do this. It is so frustrating for me and the family who want to give him positive strokes, as he pushes them away. They don't fit his script, so he blocks them. So sad, he is 9 in Nov, and already fixed in this negative circle.

So, he may believe that he wants to get on well at school, please his mum, dad, teachers and will make an effort, but very quickly he'll sabotage to make sure he gets those familiar strokes.

I self sabotaged around money, didn't manage my money, so never had money that was spare. One of my psychotherapist colleagues asked me why I worked so hard for my money, but didn't work hard at managing it. I also did a big piece of work around this on a weekend therapy marathon, and started making some good inroads into the problem. However, whilst not paying attention a few weeks later, drew £10.00 (£10 I could only just afford) out of the hole in the wall, collected my card and walked away without the tenner. Walked back to work, and realised what I had done, and gave myself a good kicking (negatives strokes)....thus fullfilling my script.

What it taught me was to pay attention to what I am doing when handling or dealing with money.

We can also do the same around food and diet. If our script says we need to be fat, need to hide our inner child, we can manage to diet yet not lose weight....frustrating but true.