| Archive for positivechange.myfreeforum.org Supporting Positive Change for People and Communities. A Self Help and Mutual Support and Life Coaching Board |
| lauzc |
Is One Kid Enough?http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200502/is-one-kid-enoughDoes having more than one child add to a parent's happiness? One researcher says, if you want to maximize your subjective well-being, you should stop after the first kid. By Marina Krakovsky, published on January 01, 2005 - last reviewed on June 10, 2009 Why do people keep having kids? After all, children cost their parents more in food and college tuition than they bring in by, say, working the family farm. And in developed countries where parents feel the financial pinch, birthrates have dropped accordingly. Conventional wisdom dictates that people become parents because children bring joy. But do they really? For scientists studying the subject, simply correlating parenthood and happiness can't answer this question, since happy people might be more likely to have kids to begin with. But a study that compared happiness levels in adult identical twins—some of whom are parents and some who aren't—may be getting to the bottom of the issue. The study, headed by sociology professor Hans-Peter Kohler of the University of Pennsylvania, found that people with children are, in fact, happier than those without children. But such happiness gains differ for mothers and fathers. In comparing identical twins, Kohler found that mothers with one child are about 20 percent happier than their childless counterparts; and while fathers' happiness gains are smaller, men enjoy an almost 75 percent larger happiness boost from a firstborn son than from a firstborn daughter. The first child's sex doesn't matter to mothers, perhaps because women are better than men at enjoying the company of both girls and boys, Kohler speculates. Interestingly, second and third children don't add to parents' happiness at all. In fact, these additional children seem to make mothers less happy than mothers with only one child—though still happier than women with no children. "If you want to maximize your subjective well-being, you should stop at one child," concludes Kohler, adding that people probably have additional children either for the benefit of the firstborn or because they reason that if the first child made them happy, the second one will, too. Kohler adds that most previous research has asked how specific factors—such as marriage or childbirth—contribute to happiness. His study, in contrast, asks a general question about parenting and happiness. What seems to happen over time, says Kohler, is "you look forward to having a child, then you have it and find it really difficult and your happiness dips, and then you see a substantial gain." Overall, he says the lesson from the study is that "just having reproduced at least once seems to be the crucial aspect of providing the happiness gain." |
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| Hecateh |
I'd like to know the size of the sample, particularly in view of the fact that identical twins are not that common.
I'd also be interested in knowing what his background is. Is he an only? Does he have only one child? Did he set out to 'prove' a theory or find out an answer. And - if he is 'statistically' correct - so what? We are still individuals and have our individual reasons for being happy or not. If someone wants one child and has one they may be happier than someone who wanted 2 and had 2 but what about the person that wanted 2 and could only have one? Don't know the answers but more than that I'm not sure what the relevance of the study is. |
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| angelfruit |
Re: Is One Kid Enough?
Now that I have all of mine I can't imagine my life without them. That said, we may well have had more time for each other as a couple, had more disposable income, had a better/well-maintained house due to fewer financial/time constraints etc. However, I wouldn't have had 75% of my offspring - each and everyone bringing added colour and dimension (not to mention grey hairs and wrinkles) to my life. Good post xxx |
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| Nannyp |
I've never really thought too deeply about this, and I like Helen's answer.
I am happy and was happy with 2, and my motivation for having 2 was based on the outcome for the children I think. I wouldn't have wanted a child to be an only child, and I didn't have 3, because I am a middle chicld, and it's not the best place to be. My life change, and I became "unhappier" but that was the marriage, not the children. I'm not sure how the woman who did this piece of research, could remove all the other impacting features on life, and just decide it is the child causing the unhappiness? I wouldn't change any of the decisions I made around having children. |
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| lauzc |
My personal view is that 2 is enough - one to replace me and one to replace Geoff on this earth. | ||
| katieqr |
i have one son and one daughter. if i hadn t had such bad health i would have had another one maybe two.
my pair bring me so much happiness i couldn t imagine being childless. 
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