Position amongst your siblings

dingsy · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2106 Location: Devon

It's been a really fascinating discussion, Jo, and it's good to hear as many experiences as possible.
The sibling issue is a complex one for most people at one stage or another. Although there were many more years between me and my youngest brother, I remember too at times feeling jealous of his prominent position in the family. I've always loved him unconditionally though, and we're now very close (although not geographically, as he lives in Australia).He still calls me "big sis", and I still call him "our kid".
I'm going to make another comment, that might just lead to another thread.... We see in our son Iain, so may characteristics that are so like Graeme-which is strange, as they haven't spent a great deal of time together, so it's certainly not learned behaviour. Something in the genes, perhaps?

Nannyp · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:45 pm Post subject:

Jo you're right, you were expected to grow up quickly...I have in my mind a photo of you looking up at the camera when Phil was just a few days old...you look so unhappy. I have often felt bad about you not having a loger babyhood (and i know you know that) and feel really sorry for children who have younger siblings close to them in age.

Oh well Hec, it sounds like he has learnt to be more trusting maybe...and having a perhaps less assertive woman makes it easier.

MissMuppet · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:46 pm Post subject:

I call my brother 'my big little brother' as he's 6'2" and towers over me!! :lol:
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Hecateh · Foundation Stone Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 2006

My two are very close in age - only 15 months between them but Sarah is the youngest and doesn't seem to have ever been a baby. Started looking out for Mattt as soon as she could walk.
By the time she was 18 months old she could talk better than him and just took over.
I remeber someone asking him a question when he was about three and he just bowed his head and looked at the floor, pointed towards Sarah and said 'She talks' and that was it.

And she is still doing it. Last time they had a meal at my place and I had treated us to spnge pudding and custard. I went into the kitchen to fetch it and she came in half a minute later saying 'You have remembered Matt doesn't like custard haven't you'.

Similar in a way to you Elaine, she seems to have characteristics of my sister, she certainly doesn't get being organised from me or her dad.

Another memory, and she can't have been more than three or four; 'Shall I look after the tickets so you don't forget them mummy?'

:oops:
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Guest · Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:55 pm Post subject:

In for a penny ...

I am the youngest of 5 girls. My eldest sister is 12 years older than me. My parents had 3 close together, and then "two after-thoughts", neither planned!!

When I was little (as in pre-school) I clearly remember thinking it was my "big sisters" who looked after myself and my nearest sister "M" (we were 23 months apart), not our parents!

I had big problems adjusting when M started school, hated being alone, abandonned by my sisters, and fretted until I was really ill. However, as a result of this, I got very close to my mum; my father is STILL jealous of the relationship I have with mum, and I'm 44!!!!

I liked being the youngest. I didn't have to be "first" to do anything, and (being a wise little soul) I learned a lot from my sisters' mistakes, and rarely upset mum. I even learned parenting mistakes from my sisters ... not saying I was a perfect mum, but at least I didn't make the SAME mistakes as them

My eldest sister, A, acts like she is my mother. As a result we are not close at all!!

My mother was nearly 40 when I was born, and I always felt (still do!) cheated by having such an old mother - if she had been younger when I was born, I would have had the benefit of knowing her for longer. As a result, I married "the first man who looked twice at me", a fortnight before my 20th birthday. By the time I was 24, I had 2 children, 22 months apart.

I can see Jo's point about having to grow up fast being the elder of 2 close-in-age siblings, but if the gap is too big, it's more like having 2 "only children", so we can't win as parents, can we?!!

Actually, my daughter has always been more grown-up than my son (I knew for years he had something wrong, and it was finally diagnosed when he was 21 - he has Aspergers), and to this day she protects him, even though she finds him immensely frustrating!!

Guest · Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:25 pm Post subject:

I read about this in a magazine this month :-

First Born Children

Tend to be : Goal Setters,High acheivers,Perfectionists,Responsible,Rule Keepers,Determined, Detail people

Second Born / Middle Children

Tend to be : Flexible,Diplomatic,Peacemakers,Free Spirits,Generous,Caring

Youngest Children

Tend to be: Risk Takers,Persistent,Outgoing,Charming,Ideas People,Creative, Reluctant to accept authority

Only Children

Tend to be : Achievement Orientated,Conservative,Confident,Articulate,Inflexible,Self confident

Guest · Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject:

Nannyp · Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject:

First Born Children

Tend to be : Goal Setters,High acheivers,Perfectionists,Responsible,Rule Keepers,Determined, Detail people

Yep, thats Jo

Second Born / Middle Children

Tend to be : Flexible,Diplomatic,Peacemakers,Free Spirits,Generous,Caring

Yep thats me